Pictures:

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

990

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

What is full of holes but still can hold a lot of water?

A sponge.

967

What invention lets you look through a wall?

A window.

960

What do you call shoes made of banana peels?

A pair of slippers.

970

Why didn't Bill use his photographic memory?

He never developed it.

961

Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

957

What has a head and a tail but no body?

A coin.

975

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992