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Akiva Lane
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What did the thread say to the needle?

I'm just passing through.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of the meat did Bill try not to bring to his wife from the freezer?

He didn't think it was a good idea to give his wife the cold shoulder.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

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Why did the prisoner not want to take the anti-allergy medicine?

Because he wanted to break out.

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Akiva Lane
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If an earthen-ware pot gets cracked, what is it called?

A crack-pot.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the lawyers refer to the case of the pillow company being sued?

The pillow case.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Arnie lose, that made him unable to speak?

He lost his voice.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Arial, Helvetica, and Courier fonts say to each other?

You're not my type.

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When Betty felt the need to express herself, what did she do?

She drove on the the expressway.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called if someone rebels against the trees?

Tree-son.

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When Arnie said that he preferred to learn accordion rather than piano, what were his parents reaction?

They changed his music teacher accordingly.

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