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Why did Fred often touch the four quarters he kept in his pocket?

To remind himself that sometimes change is hard.

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What kind of traffic tastes good with bread?

Traffic jam.

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Why was Mike concerned about the liquids that he drank?

Because after he drank them, they were drunk.

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How is a face similar to a shoe?

They both have a tongue.

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Why was the bee punished?

Because it didn't bee-have.

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Why did Avigail get mad when her 10 year old daughter put on lipstick?

Because it made her see red.

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Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

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If a hiker meets in the woods a large bear on the left and a small bear on the right, what should he do?

Bear right.

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When Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Mount Everest in 1953, how did he feel?

He felt on top of the world.

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How did Max feel about pulling his old couch to the junkyard?

It was such a drag.

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If a person is alone on an island, what color does he have with him?

Maroon.

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What are commas, periods, and question marks that are used in puns called?

Pun-cuation.

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