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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a place where you can relax and sort things out?

A re-sort.

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Why did Bill's moving company shake the furniture as they moved it?

Because they wanted to be movers and shakers.

1986
Akiva Lane
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What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

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What hair style is named after the hair of a horse?

Pony tail.

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Why is each skunk unique?

Because each is distinked.

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What did the table cloth say to the table?

Don't be concerned, I've got you covered.

1961
Akiva Lane
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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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Why did the hospital remove the windows from the operating room?

They wanted it to be paneless.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Oedipus feel after he found out what he had done?

He felt like an Oedipus wreck.

1948
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What is the version of Arabian Nights that takes place in Rome?

Al-Latin.

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Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

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Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

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