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Akiva Lane
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Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

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Akiva Lane
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When the truck spilled coffee grounds all over Marvin's lawn, what did his lawyer say?

"I think we have grounds for suing the truck company."

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a zoo that feeds the animals zucchinis?

A zoo-kini.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beverly change from being an accountant to a singing teacher?

She found she was very good with in-voices.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Mike concerned about the liquids that he drank?

Because after he drank them, they were drunk.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of angle has the most confidence?

A right angle.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of doctor is similar to a boring teacher?

An anesthesiologiest - they both put people to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when Joe tripped on his neighbor's exposed sewer?

He wanted to sue her.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a gorilla that makes pottery?

Hairy Potter

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Akiva Lane
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How did Lisa feel when she found that someone had pressed all the buttons in the elevator?

She found it depressing.

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Akiva Lane
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What sentence commemorates how Isaac, Jacob, and Moses met their wives.

Well, well, well.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a mine that might be silver and might be gold?

Either ore.

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