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Akiva Lane
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How did Oedipus feel after he found out what he had done?

He felt like an Oedipus wreck.

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What do you call a store that doesn't move?

A stationery store.

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How do you get someone to say 'Who's there?'

You say 'Knock, knock'

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What is similar between slamming on the car brakes and baseball?

They both have a short stop.

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Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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What rap singer also told puns?

Rapunzel

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What do you call a tax on things that people do wrong?

Syntax.

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What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

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What was Samantha's reaction to the small flea market?

She thought it was a little bizarre.

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What kind of money can't be understood?

Non cents.

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Why did Mr. and Mrs. Beaver find it hard to get along?

Because they found each other so dam a-gnawing.

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