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When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

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How did Oedipus feel when he found out about his parents?

Oedipus wreck.

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Why did Beverly avoid bidding too much at auctions?

She thought it might be considered morbid.

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Do people gain weight as they get older?

If they do, it's a waist of time.

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What is it called when trumpet players play their trumpets in response to each other?

A toot for a toot.

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How do we know that only taking doesn't make relationships last?

"To get" plus 'to get" equals forget.

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Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

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What can you take when you're tired?

You can take a walk, a break, a nap, a rest, a vacation, or a deep breath.

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What do you call people who eat in a steak restaurant?

Steak holders.

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What did Barbie say to Ken?

You're a doll.

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What 2 letters do you say when you say goodbye to someone?

C U.

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What is it called when you 'burn the midnight oil' to stay awake studying for midterm exams?

Term oil.

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