Pictures:

What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

1627

What do you call a bar that serves chocolate?

A chocolate bar.

1543

How did the inventor of the Jack-In-The-Box come up with invention?

He used out-of-the-box thinking.

426

Why did Sophia put on makeup?

She thought it was pretty imporant.

1375

Why did Arlene bring a piece of wood and a dog to her first weaving class?

She heard they were going to learn about the warp and the woof.

1901

Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

1971

What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

2788

How did Arnold feel about his budget?

He wants to budge it.

120

What is it called when a person gets tired easily from being overweight?

Fatigue.

1107

Why did Martha feel bad for her calendar?

Because its days are numbered.

1370

What are 5 tow trucks?

A foot truck.

1429

What vitamin is good for the eyes?

Vitamin see.

587