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What do you call an eating contest to see who can eat the fastest?

The gulp war.

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Why did Marsha like to read on the steps of the NY Public Library?

She believed that for meaning, you have to read between the lions.

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What is an Eskimo father called?

An ice pop.

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What kind of eyes are good for saving money?

Econom eyes.

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What is it called when an electrician charges a lot to install a lighting system?

The charge of the light brigade.

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Why was Linda afraid of using Chapstick?

Her pharmacist said it was lip bomb.

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What is it called when people argue about what to do with a rope?

This cord's discord.

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What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

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What is similar about doctors' situations before and after they graduate from medical school?

First they need patience, and then they need patients.

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Why is Joe doing this?

He was told it was important to push the envelope.

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What is this?

Yisro Whale

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What do you call someone who doesn't care about what people say about him?

He has heard immunity.

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