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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

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Akiva Lane
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What bread is similar to money that was gotten illegally?

Sour dough.

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Akiva Lane
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What is good motto for a gym, to encourage people to lose weight?

Let there be light!

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Akiva Lane
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What are the benefits of having a sense of wonder (one-der)?

It can help you feel at 'one' with everything.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

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Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Jack learn to give himself a haircut?

He knew it off the top of his head.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the result of the pig race?

The winner squeeked by.

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What is a prosecutor that doesn't respect defendants rights called?

A persecutor.

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Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest?

He took a peek at the peak, and it piqued his interest.

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