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Why is sitting sometimes difficult?

You have to sit down and sit up at the same time.

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When one spouse says, 'I've had it up to here', what can the other spouse say?

What is 'it' and where is 'here'?

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Why was Sara confused when she learned about animals on a farm?

She couldn't understand how you could fit animals into a pen?

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Why is the name for the animal duck misleading?

Because when a hunter tries to shoots at it, it doesn't duck, it flies away.

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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

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Why was the farm worker disappointed?

He thought he was promised a good salary, but they gave him a good celery.

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What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

Silly Con Valley

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How did people react when Joe pulled down a 'No Demonstrations' sign without getting caught by the police?

"How did you pull that off?"

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Why does the world have problems?

Because it is bi-polar.

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What do bats celebrate when they come of age?

Their bat mitzvah.

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If a scientist no longer finds a theory as 'testable', how does he now regard it?

He now regards it as 'de-testable'.

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