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What did the doctor say to the sick person who was too much in a rush?

I'll be doctor, you be patient.

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What do you call billiard balls 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, and 15?

Odd balls.

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What do you call bees who don't answer you directly?

Cagey bees.

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Why does hot weather seem so smart?

Because it has so many degrees.

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Why do you have to be very careful after drinking water?

Because after you drink it, it's drunk.

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What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

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What is the result if you combine a sweet pie and a sharp onion?

You get an O-PI-NION that is both sweet and sharp.

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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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Where do you stay if you don't want to move?

You stay put.

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What kind of bush can take you by surprise?

An ambush.

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What didn't Alan understand about the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme?

How were the king's horses involved in putting Humpty Dumpty together again?

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What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

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