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How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

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What did the people on the ship say when they saw Jack the pirate boarding their ship?

Hijack.

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Why didn't Jerry want to buy a car without a clutch?

He regarded it as shiftless.

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Why are all shopping malls very similar?

You see one, you see the mall.

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What is someone who can keep a secret called?

A secretary.

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What bird should learn better manners in terms of how to treat others?

The mockingbird.

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Do cows generally live alone?

It's generally un-herd of.

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What word describes a variety of missiles?

Missile-aneous.

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What was the longest mistake in history?

The Roman Error, it lasted 500 years.

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Why was Beverly confused when she got sick?

She caught a cold, and had a fever.

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How do you describe someone who is no longer centric?

Ex-centric.

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What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

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