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Akiva Lane
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What do Siamese twins say to each other before dinner?

Would you like to join me before dinner?

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What can be said about someone who buys lots of books but doesn't read them?

The person has no shelf control.

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Why did the police give the suspect a bowl of beans at the edge of the table?

They wanted him to spill the beans.

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Why did Jim feel like a flamingo?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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What are good names for a company that makes kitchen counters?

Counter Intuitive, or Counter Culture.

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When the bee joined the bee hive, how did it feel?

It felt like a newbie.

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What music makes a person feel like a worn out cloth?

Rag time.

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What number does a train say?

Two - Two.

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What do you call a demonstration at a diner?

A counter-demonstration.

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What grammar is similar to regretting the past and worrying about the future?

Past tense and future tense.

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What did the rancher say to the person he thought was taking down parts of his fence?

I'm accusing you, but I hope you don't take offence.

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If a gun had children, who would they be?

Well, the boy would be a son of a gun.

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