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What day in September do women give birth?

Labor day.

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What do you call a seamstress that doesn't know how to sew?

A seemstress.

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Why was Jim happy that after dieting he fit into his old clothes?

He knew that when it comes to dieting, it's survival of the fit-est.

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What part of a river has the most money?

The river bank.

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What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

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What kind of running results in having less of something?

Running out of something.

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What race has more people in it than any other?

The human race.

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What did the miner say when he found gold?

It's mine!

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If a person was stranded on a desert island, what color would he find there?

Maroon.

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Why did Jim put paper money into the stream?

His accountant said he needed better cash flow.

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Why did the waiter in the restaurant need to calm down and have patience?

He didn't want people to say he couldn't wait.

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What animal does Niagara Falls remind us of?

Buffalo, because that's where Niagara Falls is.

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