Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did the chiropractor avoid doing anything too experimental with his patients?

He was concerned it might backfire.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

1848
Akiva Lane
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Why can you trust an expert in sound systems?

He gives sound advice.

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Akiva Lane
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What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the world react to Edison's invention of the electric light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill buy 2 pieces of chord, and gave one to his girlfriend?

He wanted to tie the knot.

1914
Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill's tongue always hurt?

Every time he wanted to say something that he shouldn't say, he bit his tongue.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the people playing poker surround themselves with bushes?

They wanted to hedge their bets.

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Akiva Lane
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How do Mr. & Mrs. Deer say hello to each other?

Hello Dear.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of someone who eats just a little too much?

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet.

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Akiva Lane
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What party did they have in the basement flea-market?

A cellar seller cele-bration.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

1989