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Why did the tight-rope walker wear warm shoes?

He was concerned about getting cold feet.

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What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

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How did Angela feel when she saw a rattlesnake in the park?

She felt rattled.

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Do clothes hanging out to dry use the internet?

Yes, they're online.

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What do you call and aunt that doesn't like people?

Aunt Tipathy

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What can a person do terribly that is really good?

To miss someone terribly.

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What do you call a tree that has apples for a pie, and it's root is shaped like a square?

The square root of pie.

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Why did Phil stop turning around?

Because every time he turned around, another year went by.

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What is a program called that tries to convince people to become doctors?

Indoctorinzation.

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What did Bill say when he brought his bike to the bike store to have the brakes fixed?

Give me a break!

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Why did Liz putting a wedding song as her phone's ring tone?

She wanted a wedding ring.

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Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

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