Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When Marsha told her husband on the phone that she was late, why did he call the police?

She said she was being held up.

1621
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was the elephant that lived in Manhattan depressed?

It couldn't find work, so it felt ir-elephant.

3050
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What would ticks be called if they were found on the moon?

Luna-ticks.

2495
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the police enter the comedy club?

The comedian was a riot.

2051
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a doctor called who takes care of stomach gas?

A fizz-ician.

885
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

1382
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Bill's hitch-hiking trip go when nobody gave him a ride?

It went without a hitch.

1711
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a gun in a hat called?

A cap gun.

1238
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call worrying about the complications of losing money in a real estate complex?

A complex complex about a complex.

1635
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call someone in a doctor's office that is in a hurry to see the doctor.

Im-patient.

3174
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is the difference between a park and a mental institution?

The park has cycle paths.

1573
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

124