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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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Where can you go when you're tired?

You can go to bed and go to sleep.

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What is a radical socialist who is very calm called?

A calm-unist.

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What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

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What was Betty's reaction when the glass jar fell and broke?

She found it jarring.

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What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

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What was Karl Marx and his brother called?

The Marx brothers.

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How did Arnie feel when he slipped in the garbage dump?

He felt down in the dumps.

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What does a watch repairman have in common with turning a wheel left to right?

They are both clock wise.

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Why did Bill take music stands from other places, and put them in his house?

When he felt strongly about something, he felt he needed to take a stand.

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Why are taking good notes like a beautiful June day?

They summerize.

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What does an air conditioner and a hair conditioner have in common?

They both can make you feel cool.

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