Pictures:

What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

2397

Where can you go when you're tired?

You can go to bed and go to sleep.

888

What is a radical socialist who is very calm called?

A calm-unist.

3268

What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

2569

What was Betty's reaction when the glass jar fell and broke?

She found it jarring.

2140

What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

1655

What was Karl Marx and his brother called?

The Marx brothers.

1409

How did Arnie feel when he slipped in the garbage dump?

He felt down in the dumps.

701

What does a watch repairman have in common with turning a wheel left to right?

They are both clock wise.

1916

Why did Bill take music stands from other places, and put them in his house?

When he felt strongly about something, he felt he needed to take a stand.

2275

Why are taking good notes like a beautiful June day?

They summerize.

61

What does an air conditioner and a hair conditioner have in common?

They both can make you feel cool.

553