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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Why does Ben like tea?

It gets him from 'HERE' to 'THERE'.

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How did Elliot's investment in the chicken farm work out?

It took him a while to re-coop his investment.

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Where does superman shop for food?

The supermarket.

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Why did Arnold lie down next to bread in the bakery?

He wanted to be rolling in dough.

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Does therapy often cost a lot?

Yes, but you can keep the change.

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How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

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What do teachers and eyes have in common?

They both have pupils.

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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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What is the medical department at Google called?

Google Docs.

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What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

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