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What helps traction in marriage?

Attraction.

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What can you say about an old couch that was fixed?

It was in bad shape, but now it's recovered.

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If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

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What is the study of the fancy speech that con-men use called?

Prose and cons.

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Can a person who complains all the time be a vegetarian?

No, because he always has a beef.

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What vitamin comes from the ocean?

Vitamin Sea.

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What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

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Why did Eileen Terr's name confuse people?

Because people called her Miss Terr.

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How do we know that this mother duck is popular?

She has a big following.

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What do you call someone who takes dents out of cars?

A dentist.

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Where do boots go to rest and have fun in the summer?

Boot camp.

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Why was Linda afraid of using Chapstick?

Her pharmacist said it was lip bomb.

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