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Akiva Lane
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Why do you really have to hand it to short people?

Because otherwise, they can't reach it themselves.

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Akiva Lane
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At what kind of table does one read the New York Times?

The Times table.

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Can a person who complains all the time be a vegetarian?

No, because he always has a beef.

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What is the moment called when you decide if and how much you will tip a waiter?

The tipping point.

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What word describes a variety of missiles?

Missile-aneous.

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What do skyscrapers and libraries have in common?

They have a lot of stories.

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What relative did Bill Royd name the phone operating system after?

Aunt Royd.

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What kind of ship demands total control?

Dictator ship

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What do you call a rat whose name is Demmik?

Demmik Rat.

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When do parents feel that they aren't parenting enough?

When - in relation to their kids - they feel only 'parenthetical'.

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What animal does Niagara Falls remind us of?

Buffalo, because that's where Niagara Falls is.

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Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

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