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Akiva Lane
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What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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What is the annual football game for plumbers?

The Toilet Bowl.

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When a doctor displayed the brain image of a high IQ person, what was the reaction?

That it was ingenious.

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Do cows generally live alone?

It's generally un-herd of.

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What do you call someone who has a very active radio show?

Radio-active.

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What do you lightening that starts a forest fire?

A match made in heaven.

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What is it called when sugar cane rebels against the farmer?

The cane mutiny.

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What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

Silly Con Valley

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What is a good slogan for a company that makes lox?

We know the key to the lox.

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What did the artist do before he made a sculpture of a person's head?

He had to plan a head.

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What do spices and the earth have in common?

They are both ground.

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