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Akiva Lane
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Why did Marsha like to read on the steps of the NY Public Library?

She believed that for meaning, you have to read between the lions.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Jones family say after they found their dog named Spot?

We spotted the spot where Spot was, by spotting his spot!

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Akiva Lane
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Do cows generally live alone?

It's generally un-herd of.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the punster feel about making so many anatomy puns?

He made no bones about it.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill throw a stone out of the car window whenever he made a turn?

He didn't want to leave any turn un-stoned.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a hotel called that is named in honor of potatoes?

Suite Potatoes.

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Akiva Lane
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What did farmer Bill Rath call the grapes that grew in his vineyard?

Grapes of Rath.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Matt run in the desert?

For the big race, he wanted to make a dry run.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an arrangement with UPS, Fedex, or DHL to send a package called?

A package deal.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't the two gangs have their scheduled showdown?

Because one gang didn't show up.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you get rid of weeds?

You have to get to the root of the problem.

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Akiva Lane
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Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

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