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Akiva Lane
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What does Leonard Bernstein and copper have in common?

They are both good conductors.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do prophets tell others about their visions?

The prophet motive is to wake people up to the truth.

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Akiva Lane
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What psychiatric tool is similar the noses of hippies?

Hip noses.

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Akiva Lane
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How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill get furious at the person who tried to steal his goat?

It really got his goat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Jeremy concerned when he couldn't take off his pickle costume?

Because if he couldn't get it off, he was really in a pickle.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do pharmaceuticals go that don't need a prescriptinon?

They're over the counter.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the general not want to look down at his boots?

He wanted to avoid de feet.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe someone who pretends to eat something?

He's ingesting in jest.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Arnold feel about his budget?

He wants to budge it.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an excellent peace between two countries called?

A masterpeace.

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