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If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

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What is it called if someone rebels against the trees?

Tree-son.

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What is a repairman that fixes clocks called?

A tik-tok doc.

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What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

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What vegetables were on strike?

The onions, because they were onion-ized.

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Why should we be careful about illusions?

Because it begins with the word 'ill'.

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Why do we peel fruit?

If fruit has a peel, it doesn't have appeal.

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During the truce in a war, what soup did both sides eat?

Peas soup.

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What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

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What did Alan say to the gas station after he filled his car gas tank?

Tank you.

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What can happen if a person has too much debt?

It can debt-inate.

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What are hotdogs called when they are cold?

Hotdogs.

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