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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a troop of soldiers with long hair?

The hair force.

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What is it called when a homeowner tries to stop a foreclosure of his house?

House keeping.

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Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

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Why did Fred dislike his job using a drill-press?

He found it very boring.

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What kind of phone do prisoners use?

Cell phones.

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What did the world think about Edison's invention of the light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

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What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

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What name for cigarettes describes the harm they do?

Sick-arettes.

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Why did the rancher find his horses difficult to control?

Because they were always horsing around.

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How did Bob feel about his lawyer challenging the judge's decision about his slipping on a banana?

He found it appealing that his lawyer was appealing the peel appeal.

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Why didn't Bill like raquetball?

He thought it was off-the-wall.

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What are some things a person can do if they are stuck thinking about the past?

The can buy 'presents' for other people, or go to a river and look at the 'current'.

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