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Akiva Lane
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How did Emma feel when she had a dream during a nap that she was elected president?

It felt like a power nap.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Betty want to talk about the bed that her dog Dignity was sleeping on?

She felt it was beneath her dignity.

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Why does hot weather seem so smart?

Because it has so many degrees.

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Akiva Lane
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Are people in a family 'absolute'?

They are 'relative', that's why they are called relatives.

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Why do chickens tend to have egg-streme political opinions?

Because they don't like being in the middle of the road.

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What is the difference between starting a new job and eating hotdogs?

With one you try to pass muster, and with the other you pass the mustard.

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How did Jim feel when he found he loved working at the call center, talking to interesting people all day?

He felt that he had found his calling.

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What is it called when police do a search without a search warrant?

Un-warranted.

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Why didn't Bill talk about his skin rash?

It was a senstive topic.

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How did Bill feel when he searched for gold, and found a profitable iron mine?

He thought it was ironic.

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How did Abigail respond when her husband suggested that they go camping in the winter?

The idea leaves me cold.

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What is a store called that sells only items for the left hand?

A second hand store.

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