Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

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Why did the tight-rope walker wear warm shoes?

He was concerned about getting cold feet.

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How did the Smith family feel when they spent a lot of money painting their house blue, and they didn't like the color?

They felt they blew it, and they had the blues.

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Why was the hot dog happy?

Because it was on a roll.

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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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How do you convey to somewhat that you think they are special?

You nique.

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How did Billy feel when the cookies got smashed?

He felt crummy.

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Why are the internal parts of the body called organs?

Because they are all so well organized.

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When the truck spilled coffee grounds all over Marvin's lawn, what did his lawyer say?

"I think we have grounds for suing the truck company."

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What is it called when the letter E moves slowly?

Creep-E.

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What do you call it when a person wants to jump into a sewer?

Sewer-cide.

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How did the moose get into the restaurant?

The customer asked for mousse, and the waiter brought him one.

2016