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Akiva Lane
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Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the disorganized actor knew that he had to do?

He had to get his act together.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Barry say when he saw his neighbor put a muzzle on his dangerous dog?

Muzzle Tov!

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Akiva Lane
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Why is it often difficult to communicate messages to other people?

Because often they begin with a mess.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a snake say when it bites?

Don't take it poisonally.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Mr. & Mrs. Bear get divorced?

They couldn't bear each other anymore.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the mathematical function that was very tired?

It couldn't function.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Joe feel when he met with a lot of his friends and family?

Joe + you + us = joyous.

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Akiva Lane
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Does before come after after, and does after come before before?

Alphabetically yes.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the ferris wheel owner feel about having almost no customers?

He felt like he was just spinning his wheels.

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Akiva Lane
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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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