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Akiva Lane
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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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Akiva Lane
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Why should you take a sharp pencil seriously?

It has a good point.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill make a rocket made of wood-work?

Because he thought it would work.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the mint chocolate candies look so fresh and clean?

Because they were in mint condition.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a duck that is a bad doctor?

A quack.

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Why did Jimmy wonder where the planet Noyd is?

Because his mother said she was a Noyd.

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How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't the king allow anything to be placed over his throne?

He didn't want to think about the phrase 'over throne'?

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What do you get after you finish sleeping?

You get up.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a stack of watches called?

A watch tower.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the pan say when it was covered with aluminum foil?

Foiled again!

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Akiva Lane
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What Italian dish is similar to New York City in the summer?

Baked City.

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