Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the insulted person steal a fence?

Because he took offense.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Arnie feel when he slipped in the garbage dump?

He felt down in the dumps.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between estimates and baseball players?

They both involve ball park figures.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

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Akiva Lane
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If the hole of a bagel is filled with black pepper, what is the result?

A black hole.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a farmer who makes medicine from the food he grows?

A farmacist.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Martha mind that she had a run in her stockings?

She figured it didn't really matter in the long run.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the cherry tree say to George Washington?

Don't ax me.

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Akiva Lane
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Did Billy wake up very early to join his friends in the camping trip?

Yes, he rose to the occasion.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Mayor say when the workers put street signs upside down?

This is not a good sign.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

2007