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Akiva Lane
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What spice doesn't need an expiration date?

Thyme.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a lumber mill have in common with a computer?

They both have logs.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Martha mind that she had a run in her stockings?

She figured it didn't really matter in the long run.

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Akiva Lane
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When you add up numbers, and are amazed at the result, what is that called?

Awe sum.

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Akiva Lane
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With the rule "I before E except after C', why is the word 'seize' an exception?

Because it is totally made up 'Seize'

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a building under construction and a flashlight?

The building uses heavy beams, and a flashlight uses light beams.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the waiter say when the customer sent the food back to the kitchen?

Thanks for the feedback.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the two electric eels like each other so much?

They found each other so electrifying.

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Akiva Lane
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In what direction do people clean?

They clean up.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of car can become a religious convert?

A convertible.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

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