Pictures:

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

What did Mount Rushmore look like before it was carved?

Un-presidented.

9

Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

1064

What is the first phase of a liver transplant called?

De-livery

1958

Which business finds emergency replacement musicians?

Band Aid

288

Why do some people choose to do mixed martial arts?

Just for kicks.

912

Who's bigger - Mr. Bigger, or Mr. Bigger's baby, and why?

Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.

1005

Why are there so many types of Asian cuisine?

For different woks of life.

1287

Why did Tom get fired from the kitchen hardware business?

He couldn't get a handle on it.

379

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

What are "octopy"?

Pizzas topped with calamari.

2356

What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

2379