Pictures:

What's this man's problem?

He has an axe to grind.

1270

Which college shows the most compassion to fire victims?

Aw, burn University

484

Why are trombone players usually easy going people?

They've learned to let things slide.

827

What's another way of referring to "the middle of the ocean"?

The Marine Core

1471

What did the man's wife say when he woke up hung over, after a party?

She asked what was "ale"ing him.

706

Which country has the most virologists and epidemiologists?

Germ any

1101

Why can't everyone text at the same speed?

Not everyone is the same type.

1092

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

What are "octopy"?

Pizzas topped with calamari.

2356

What is a dehydrating fruit business like?

It's full of hot air.

1105

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

Why was Bruce Lee's son always on time?

His first name was "Prompt".

1258