Pictures:

Shane Ronay
General
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Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

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Shane Ronay
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How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

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Shane Ronay
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What's a good name for a plumbing supply distributor?

Sink Inc.

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Shane Ronay
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Why are Persians good forecastors of future events?

Because they can far see (Farsi).

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Shane Ronay
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How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

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Shane Ronay
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How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

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Shane Ronay
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How did Gary build a successful drainpipe business?

Having his mind in the gutter.

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Shane Ronay
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What's the best time to create a virtual loaf of bread?

E-leaven.

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Shane Ronay
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What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

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Shane Ronay
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What is Santa Claus's favorite agricultural activity?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

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Shane Ronay
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How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Who oversees decisions at a car alignment company?

The Steering Committee.

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