Pictures:

What can you say about a candle before you light it?

It's met its match.

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Do clothes hanging out to dry use the internet?

Yes, they're online.

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Why was WC Fields not very popular in England?

Because of his first initials.

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Why did Charles find a box of chocolates when he checked into his hotel room?

Because it was a suite.

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Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

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Why was Fred confused by forms?

Because he didn't know if he should fill them IN or fill them OUT.

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What do you call a demonstration at a diner?

A counter-demonstration.

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What happens to a skunk when its source of smell is removed?

It becomes ex-stinked.

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Why did Fred buy stock in the perfume company?

The way they made cents from their scents made sense.

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What do you call heating oil that you pay for every month?

Term oil.

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What kind of carrots are worth their weight in gold?

24 karats.

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What company is similar to how Sammy used to have a rock band?

Sam Sung.

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