Pictures:

How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

588

Why didn't Beverly believe anything written on the humidifier?

Because it was full of hot air.

1023

If two eyes are labeled A and B, what eye is smarter?

A Eye

2667

What can you say about a broken drinking fountain?

It's out of order and out of water.

2177

What is a good name for a company that sells sprinkler systems?

Cease Fire (an actual name of a company)

1244

What was it called when Samantha texted her friend about the great date she was on?

It was an update about the up date.

2481

What's the problem with a person being in Valid, Sweden?

He's in Valid.

1637

How do you describe the protesters living in tents in front of City Hall?

A tent city in a tense city.

2253

What hour is a good time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty (2:30).

2480

What was Bill's nickname after he was able to drive to avoid the tornado?

Mister "missed the twister".

3191

What happens to a skunk when its source of smell is removed?

It becomes ex-stinked.

2324

What did his kids say when their father told them they were eating lamb?

Ewe!!!

753