Pictures:

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

What does eating hot food and sneezing have in common?

They are both hot chews.

482

Why didn't Jack understand his hat?

It was over his head.

276

What part of a river has the most money?

The river bank.

3007

What is the moment called when you decide if and how much you will tip a waiter?

The tipping point.

2114

Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

1485

What are the simplest 2 letters of the alphabet?

EZ

2940

What happens if two silk worms have a race?

They end in a tie.

2280

After the hour and minute hand of a clock, what is the 3rd hand called?

The second hand.

89

What happened to this couple just before the wedding?

They disengaged.

1086

Why did the bartender put rolls on the bar next to the drinks?

His motto was 'Roll with the punches'.

1246

What do we have here?

Katy barred the door.

1291