Pictures:

A book about basement renovation ideas?

Best Cellars

2215

Why didn't Fred accept rides with other people, and preferred to walk?

Because he didn't want to be taken for a ride.

867

How did Bill feel when he was preparing his taxes?

He felt the taxes were attacks.

1617

When Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Mount Everest in 1953, how did he feel?

He felt on top of the world.

1697

What do baseball players do if they feel bad they didn't win the Pennant race?

They do Pennants Penance.

1624

Why was the keyboard unhappy?

Because its keys were always depressed.

2099

What do you call a Z that lost its mind?

A cra-Z.

347

What is a good name for a very aggressive soda can?

Ghengiz Can.

2313

What collection of animals gets its name from the sounds they make together?

A herd.

2041

Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

What position is for one working part-time overseeing an orchestra?

A semi-conductor

1210

Why was no one able to buy more summer hats after a man just did?

That was the last straw.

191