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Shane Ronay
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Why was it so easy to reverse-engineer this dessert recipe?

It was a piece of cake.

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Akiva Lane
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What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the world react to Edison's invention of the electric light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

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How did Joe feel when he reached to pick up a stick, and it turned out to be a rattlesnake?

He felt rattled.

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Akiva Lane
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What vegetables were on strike?

The onions, because they were onion-ized.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Howard Knot Rope Company say about its competitors?

They're not Knot knots.

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Akiva Lane
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If a calculator falls and cracks, can you still use it?

Sometimes, but you can't count on it.

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Is Jim doing this by chance?

No, he's doing it on porpoise.

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Akiva Lane
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When a doctor displayed the brain image of a high IQ person, what was the reaction?

That it was ingenious.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call it when someone is envious of another person's ability to be as flexible as Jello?

Jello-sy.

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Akiva Lane
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What is called if a lawyer charges nothing to help write a will?

Free will.

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