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Akiva Lane
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What do carbon atoms do before they get married?

Carbon dating.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Mark regard his habit of drinking beer every day?

He regarded it as minor ale-ment.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is a child's cry called a wail?

Because sometimes it seems as big as a whale.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alan say to the gas station after he filled his car gas tank?

Tank you.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Cynthia say when her dog bit into her rye bread sandwich?

Something is awry!

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Akiva Lane
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Why do people on a roller coaster say 'Weeeeee'?

Because it's more fun when it's done together with others.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the punster feel about making so many anatomy puns?

He made no bones about it.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty look for someone who loves ceilings?

She thought it would be cool if she got a ceiling fan.

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Akiva Lane
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Did Emily like living near the water?

She shore did.

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Akiva Lane
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After working for 40 years, why didn't Joe want new tires on his car?

He wasn't ready to re-tire.

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Akiva Lane
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What location do these symbols refer to?

Times Square.

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Akiva Lane
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If a calculator falls and cracks, can you still use it?

Sometimes, but you can't count on it.

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