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Akiva Lane
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What race has more people in it than any other?

The human race.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe, in his new job, feel like the wheels of a car?

He felt tired and under pressure.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when a tree doctor put the bark of an oak tree on a maple tree?

It didn't work, because he was barking up the wrong tree.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a policeman called when he's sleeping in bed?

An undercover cop.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of doctor is similar to a boring teacher?

An anesthesiologiest - they both put people to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you say when something falls into a well by mistake?

Oh, well.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the clock repairman say when you asked when the talking clock will be fixed?

Time will tell.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is this inspiring?

It says 'Eye can!'

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Akiva Lane
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What is an experimental program to teach people to fly, called?

A pilot pilot program.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Maxine buy the more expensive bed?

It was bedder.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is it best to avoid jealousy?

Because it ends with lousy.

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