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Akiva Lane
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Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

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What can you say about the courtroom of Judge Alan Fier?

Each of his trials was a trial by Fier.

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How do you describe the protesters living in tents in front of City Hall?

A tent city in a tense city.

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Why did Beverly go to a therapist?

She felt her complexes were very complex.

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How did the inventor of the Jack-In-The-Box come up with invention?

He used out-of-the-box thinking.

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How are kangaroos and rabbits different than other animals?

They are the most hoppy.

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When Andy gave Meg the engagement ring, what playing card did Meg feel like?

The Queen of Diamonds.

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Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

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Why is a young man and woman going out called a 'date'?

Because dates are sticky, and both are hoping it will be sticky.

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What do teachers and eyes have in common?

They both have pupils.

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Akiva Lane
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What does an air conditioner and a hair conditioner have in common?

They both can make you feel cool.

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What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

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