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Akiva Lane
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When Marsha told her husband on the phone that she was late, why did he call the police?

She said she was being held up.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Samantha always try to keep busy?

She didn't want to be guilty of idle worship.

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Akiva Lane
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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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Akiva Lane
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When something breaks, what can can be done before it's fixed?

A prefix.

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Akiva Lane
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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a crazy motive called?

A loco motive.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are ticks in Rome full of love?

Because they are romantics.

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Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

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Akiva Lane
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What would ticks be called if they were found on the moon?

Luna-ticks.

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Why did Peter bite into a packet of money?

People told him he should put his money where his mouth is.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the mathematical function that was very tired?

It couldn't function.

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What do you call a troop of soldiers with long hair?

The hair force.

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