Pictures:

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797

Which fruits pair well with Chinese food?

Mandarin oranges or pears.

1052

A 5 o'clock shadow.

1280

What's an inefficient way to kill ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

1814

What is the study of vintage radios called?

Radiology

1998

What was Salvador Dali's favorite breakfast?

Surreal

2372

How did France come up with Bastille day, Canada with Canada Day, and the U.S. July the 4th?

They did it Independently.

229

What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

1235

Which U.S. city do people have the hardest time losing weight?

Gainesville, FL

422

What do auto mechanics call their rest periods?

Coffee brakes.

1451

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

What do you do when your electrical system short-circuits?

Re-fuse to make it work.

845