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Akiva Lane
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What computer activity is similar to buying a new pair of boots?

Re-booting.

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Shane Ronay
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Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when sugar cane rebels against the farmer?

The cane mutiny.

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Akiva Lane
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Where is Kuwait?

Between Iraq and a hard place.

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Akiva Lane
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To measure the size of a bagel, how much of the bagel do you include?

You include the whole.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Akiva Lane
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What do reptiles and music have in common?

They both have scales.

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Akiva Lane
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If the second hand on a clock measures seconds, what does the first hand measure?

Either minutes or hours, but we're not sure.

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Akiva Lane
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If a leader doesn't have a clear inspiring vision, what is the result?

Di-vision.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a cow that is very particular about the food it eats?

It chooses its cud.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when people argue about what to do with a rope?

This cord's discord.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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