Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

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Akiva Lane
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What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are people who used to be perts very smart?

Because they are ex-perts.

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Akiva Lane
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Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

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Akiva Lane
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When the Jacob's family made a home movie, why did they include eating hotdogs at the barbecue?

The hotdogs were perfect for the role.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Betty realize after she ate inexpensive cake that was fattening?

That she was penny wise and pound foolish.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Emily very careful when she made right and left turns with the car?

Because one good turn deserves another.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do fish learn what they know?

In schools of fish.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are the tops of mountains called 'peaks'?

Because they peek at us from a distance.

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Shane Ronay
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How did the wife tell her husband she was expecting triplets?

She began with a pregnant pause.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Shane Ronay
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Why are bakery employees so nice to their customers?

They know where their bread is buttered.

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