Pictures:

What vegetable should diplomats learn all about?

Peas.

1696

What is a very small phone called?

A micro phone.

1539

Which division of a hospital has the best patient supervision?

The "I see you" (ICU)

1007

When Mark got sick and couldn't play trumpet in the school band for a week, what did he do?

The doctor gave him a note that he couldn't play notes.

2806

What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

135

If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

469

What city is known for being nice?

Nice, France.

2011

What does an orchestra and a destructive mob have in common?

They both have violins.

2066

What is the hardest thing about making a sidewalk?

The cement.

1660

What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

1235

Why did the magazine publisher go to a therapist?

He had a lot of issues.

2516

Why did the prisoner ask the judge to put words on a train?

Because he wanted the judge to commute his sentence.

412