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Akiva Lane
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When Bill was feeling down, why did he go to the racetrack?

It made him feel bettor.

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Akiva Lane
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If there was an earthquake in California, who would be blamed?

People would probably say it was San Andreas fault.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alan do when he left his 5th floor apartment in the old apartment building without an elevator?

He walked down and later walked up the run-down staircase in the run-down walk-up.

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Akiva Lane
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Can you believe someone who eats steak from a male cow?

No, because he is full of bull.

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Why is it important to understand the letter Y?

Because otherwise we don't know Y.

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When we admit our sins, why should we feel a sense of regret?

It's the price of admission.

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What are good names for a company that makes kitchen counters?

Counter Intuitive, or Counter Culture.

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What do you call someone who used to be a pert?

An ex-pert.

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What do you call a state that is really into dancing?

A swing state.

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How would you describe this?

Spring is in the air.

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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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Why did Emma avoid using coins?

She thought they were all two-faced.

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