Pictures:

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Why did the laptop catch a cold?

Because Windows was left open.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why did the family's credit card debt get so large that they had to file for bankrupcy?

Because it was a house of cards.

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Akiva Lane
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What award did the farmer receive?

He was the best in his field.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Peter bite into a packet of money?

People told him he should put his money where his mouth is.

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Akiva Lane
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How can we know when someone is ready for dating?

When their dating resume is UP TO DATE!

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General
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How did Joe feel when he reached to pick up a stick, and it turned out to be a rattlesnake?

He felt rattled.

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Shane Ronay
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What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Liz drink with tea to try to make a date go well?

Date honey.

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Akiva Lane
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What animal got kicked out of school?

The cheetah.

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Shane Ronay
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How were crews asked to stop construction of this specific hospital?

Please hold the Mayo.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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