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Akiva Lane
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What did the new furniture store say when they sold their first sofa?

Sofa so good.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you usually don't mind losing?

Weight.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the maple tree feel bad?

When people took its maple syrup, it felt like such a sap, and it sapped its energy.

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Yitzchak Berger
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How does a hippie with 2 wives count them?

One Mrs. Hippie, two Mrs. Hippie.

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Akiva Lane
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What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the bear not want to wear shoes?

It couldn't bear not having bare feet.

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Akiva Lane
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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call college students who go back to school in the fall?

Autumn leaves.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when the large bowl fell off the shelf and knocked Betty down?

She was bowled over.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the trend called where people take pieces of coal with them on dates?

Carbon dating.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jill avoid slapping the bottom of the boulder in the park?

She didn't want to hit rock bottom.

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