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Akiva Lane
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Why is it difficult to build submarines?

Whatever you build is sub-standard.

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Akiva Lane
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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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Akiva Lane
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Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the origin of the word 'stain'?

It's a spot that is stayin' in the clothes.

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Shane Ronay
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What's a good name for a plumbing supply distributor?

Sink Inc.

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Shane Ronay
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What's the best way to eliminate vapor from your windshield?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

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Shane Ronay
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What are mens' favorite legume?

Chick peas

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

Divide and conquer.

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Akiva Lane
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Who is this?

Gaucho Marx

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

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Akiva Lane
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What name for cigarettes describes the harm they do?

Sick-arettes.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

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