Pictures:

Why is it difficult to build submarines?

Whatever you build is sub-standard.

1802

How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

1286

Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

1378

What is the origin of the word 'stain'?

It's a spot that is stayin' in the clothes.

141

What's a good name for a plumbing supply distributor?

Sink Inc.

982

What's the best way to eliminate vapor from your windshield?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

1775

What are mens' favorite legume?

Chick peas

683

What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

Divide and conquer.

2558

Gaucho Marx

2248

Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

1738

What name for cigarettes describes the harm they do?

Sick-arettes.

289

What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

455