Pictures:

What happens to an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

461

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

How did Mark regard his habit of drinking beer every day?

He regarded it as minor ale-ment.

2194

What was obvious to everyone, but no one dared mention?

The elephant in the room.

269

Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

1882

What happened when Billy's mom shouted 'Wake up!', and he just caught the school bus?

It was a close call.

2684

How did Martha feel when she cut her vegetables into very small pieces?

Grate.

585

What is a doctor called who takes care of stomach gas?

A fizz-ician.

885

What is a jacket without curves?

A strait jacket.

1930

What do you call someone who used to be a pert?

An ex-pert.

44

Did Sodom and Gomorrah deserve their punishment?

Moral less.

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How were Reggie and his friends referred to?

Regimen

1115